Apologies
by No Day
Summary: In which Snape tries to apologize and Lily won't let him. Takes place in their fifth year. Snape/Lily.


A/N: I thought I would try my hand at the pairing I've been fixated on lately. **Disclaimer:** I am not J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., or any other person who has any legal claim to the Harry Potter series. Parts of the dialog come directly from OotP and can be found in the chapter Snape's Worst Memory. Thanks to ShadowTwinz for Beta-ing and letting me bounce ideas around.

Lily's P.O.V.

James Potter was even more idiotic than she had given him credit for, and that was really saying saying something. Her constant rejection had become almost imfamous. Now he was doodling her initial in the margin of his paper like a twelve year old girl. It was pathetic, really, she thought to herself, that he thought she would ever go out with him.

She glanced around the room looking for...there he was, his face barely an inch above the parchment, and as always, oblivious to the world around him. She remembered a time, not all that long ago, when she would follow him into that world and they would get lost together. Not anymore, though. They had been fourteen at the time. They thought they were in love. They hadn't had any idea what love actually was, probably still didn't. And a time years before that, when he ran to her house, crying because his father was gone. She had just sat there, hugging him while he got it out of his system. As far as she knew, he hadn't cried since. They had been ten at the time.

They were sixteen now, and almost finished with their fifth year at Hogwarts, and almost never spoke to each other. What had happened to them?

"Quills down, now!" Flitwick's announcement jolted her from her thoughts and made her jump.

She quickly gathered her things, put them in her bag, and left the stuffy exam room, relieved to be finished with her Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

She looked up to see Potter and his desciples walking out of the school, their leader playing with that snitch he always had with him. So, so stupid.

She turned away, seeing her friends sitting by the lake and deciding that listening to their inane chatter was preferable to further nauseating herself by watching Potter.

"So, how do you think you did? I'm pretty sure I screwed up question ten. What are the signs of a werewolf? My mind went totally blank."

It was then that she was distracted by the sound of Severus's swearing and garbled curses, directed Potter, of course.

"Wash out your mouth," Potter was such a hypocrite. She had heard him use words that Sev didn't even know, "Scourgify!"

She couldn't even pretend to ignore them anymore, "Leave him ALONE!" she yelled, standing up and walking towards the boys, two of which had turned to stare at her, Potter and Black, the ringleader and his right-hand man.

"Alright, Evans?"

"Leave him alone." She hated repeating herself, "What's he done to you?"

"Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean." This comment drew laughter from the crowd, but she just wanted to wipe that arrogant smirk off his face.

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying, toerag, Potter," she hissed, "leave him alone!"

"I will if you'll go out with me, Evans." Ah, there it was. He couldn't talk to her for more than a few minutes without asking her out. "Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on onld Snivelly again." There was absolutely no denying that James Potter was an insufferable git.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." She looked past him to Snape, who was trying to subtly reach for his wand. The moment he reached it Potter's face and robes we splattered with blood. The boy standing in front of her didn't even seem fazed as he spun around, and in a flash of light, Had Sev hanging upside down about ten feet away, his robes slipping down to reveal graying crowd was cheering. This was sick. "Let him DOWN!"

"Certainly." Potter flicked his wrist and Severus fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. Damn it! That wan't what she had meant.

As soon as Snape got back on his feet, Black petrified him and he fell yet again.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" She had her wand aimed at Potter before she realised what she was doing.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." She knew he couldn't even if he had wanted to.

"Take the curse off of him then." she demanded

Potter looked reluctant but complied, muttering a counter spell. "There you go," he said, glaring at Snape, "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus."

"I don't need help from filthy mudbloods like her!"

Lily stood there for a moment, blinking. She felt as if he had punched her.

"Fine," she hissed, "I won't bother you in the future. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, Snivellus."

Okay, he deserved that. He couldn't believe he had called her that. He would never have called her that before.

"Apologize to Evans!" Potter yelled at him

"I'm-" He started

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily interrupted, turning away from him,

"You're just as bad as he is!"

That hurt. He was nowhere near as bad as that conceited prick, and for Lily to say that…he supposed he deserved that too.

"What?" Potter sounded as offended as he was, "I'd never call you a you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it's cool to look like you just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it," That was really funny. He had been waiting for her to snap and let Potter have it for years, and this was better than he had expected, "You make me sick!" She turned around, her auburn hair whipping around her, and stalked off.

He wanted to call after her, but knew it would do him no good. Potter did not apparently, "Evans! Hey EVANS!"

It was about as effective as he had expected it to be. He could see Potter and Black whispering to each other, but he couldn't tell what they were saying, and suddenly he was hanging upside down again.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?

He was getting some seriously strange looks, a Slytherin arguing with the portrait/entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

"Please, please let me in." He begged

"Not without a password!" The portrait was starting to sound frustrated as she repeated the phrase for the fourth time.

"Please let me in, I have to apologize to Lily!" He was sure he sounded desperate, and he was. He had to apologize for what he had said.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" He knew the voice but couldn't quite place it. He turned and saw a boy in Slytherin robes, Regulus Black. "What is one of my housemates doing up here?" The other boy almost sounded amused.

"I could ask you the same thing," he spat, "but if you can help me get in I don't really care."

"No one gets in without a bloody password!"

"Shut up!" he yelled, as Regulus said, "Phoenix Fire."

"Thank you," she said as she swung open, probably just glad to have him out of her hair.

They walked in, and as they were about to go up different sides of the staircase Regulus hissed, "Don't tell anyone who let you in, or that I was even here, okay?"

Honestly, the thought hadn't even occurred to him, "Why would I do that?" he asked.

"Just DON'T," Regulus spat, and disappeared up the boy's side of the staircase.

Now he was glad that all the dormitories were laid out in the same fashion. First years…third years…this one must be hers. He tried to open the door but found that it was locked. That was odd, Lily had never locked her door before. He tried knocking. No answer, but he knew she had to be in there. He had already tried the great hall and the library.

"Lily? It's me, Sev," he called hesitantly

"Go away," came her muffled reply, "I don't want to talk to you." It sounded like she had been crying and that made him feel even worse. He had never meant to make her cry.

"Please, just let me explain…"

"You called me an awful name after I tried to help you. What is there to explain?"

They were right, he though, the truth does hurt, "Come on, Lily-flower, you know I didn't mean it!"

"You lost the right to call me that a long time ago. And I don't care, you still said it."

It felt as though she had slapped him. "I though we were passed that! I promise I'll never call you a…you-know-what again."

"You thought wrong. Go away, Severus."

"I'm sorry, and I'll sit out here 'til you agree to listen to me." And he would, he could be even more stubborn that she was.

About an hour later her friend Marianne walked in and, sounding concerned asked, "Why is Severus sitting outside our door?"

"Because he won't go away until I let him explain," she put air quotes around the word explain, "and I won't."

"What is there to explain?" Marianne sounded honestly curious

"That's exactly what I said!"

"He was embarrassed that his ex-girlfriend had to save him from Potter, so he lashed out at you."

Lily almost chocked, "He called me a – wait! Did you say girlfriend?"

"No, I said boyfriend…of course I did!"

"But we…it was a…we kept it a…" Lily sputtered

"You really aren't very god at sneaking out, Lily dear, and I've seen the way the two of you look at each other, but we'll deal with that later, just go talk to him."

"No," she sounded like a petulant child, even to her own ears.

"Fine," Marianne said, and walked out of their room.

Lily buried her face in her pillow, trying to ignore the thoughts swirling around in her head. She hadn't expected that at all. Why hadn't Marianne mentioned that before? It had been two years, and she had unsuccessfully tried to forget about all of it.

"Hey," he heard a girl whisper, "hey," it took him a minute to figure out that she was talking to him. When he looked up he saw a girl whose name he didn't know, but that he recognized as Lily's best friend.

"Are you here to yell at me, too?" It wouldn't surprise him very much. Every other girl that had walked by in the – he checked his watch – hour and a half he had been sitting here had.

"No. I'm here to tell you that I unlocked the door and to get your butt in there and apologize to Lily." That was not what he expected her to say at all.

"Thank you so, so much. I will."

"You better." She said, and walked down the stairs and out of sight.

He stood staring at their door for a moment, gathering his resolve. He took a deep breath, and opened the door.


End file.
